June 07, 2005
ding dong foxes is dead?
over the past few weeks, i've received a number of frantic emails from obsessive fans: "where is foxes? what am i going to doooooo????" allow me to put most of your concerns to bed—foxes is probably dead.
when it all started, i wrote to euphrates with prophetic words:
i'm going to give you a username
i'll call you fatty
how's that
fatty with password iamfat`
i'll probably post intermittently from here on out. i'm going to taiwan tomorrow for two months. if for some ungodly reason you are there or will be there, drop me a line. bye for now.
Posted by foxes in personal at 10:44 AM | riffraff (141) | trackback (2341)
May 05, 2005
why is everybody always picking on ming?
foxes will be eagerly watching tonight's mavericks versus rockets matchup for insight into his own destiny. much like the rockets, foxes started the playoffs out on the right foot, immediately going five and oh; and, much like the rockets, foxes is a lanky chinese dude. in fact, once i was in h-town walking behind a group of dudes wearing jerseys and bouncing a basketball, when one of them sees me, does a double take, then turns around and puts his hand over his mouth, yelling: "yao!!!"
can i write check?
tonight, foxes will watching in anticipation as the rockets face elimination. can yao stay out of foul trouble? will the rockets be able to scrape out a win? foxes needs to know.
Posted by foxes in personal at 10:42 AM | riffraff (126) | trackback (3156)
May 04, 2005
human life begins on the other side of saucy barbecued ribs
mike sun, generous proprietor of bluespot.org and gentleman extraordinaire called foxes today and we had a chit chat. he told me about a childhood buddy of his who recently sold his startup to google and now he is a multi-multi-millionaire. that, coupled with my current law school admissions experience, reminded me of that famous renard quote: "failure is not our only punishment for laziness; there is also the success of others." however, in these situations i prefer to think of buckminster fuller who wrote: "sometimes i think we're alone. sometimes i think we're not. in either case, the thought is staggering."
Posted by foxes in personal at 11:55 PM | riffraff (238) | trackback (2926)
May 03, 2005
we've got love and hate, it's the only way
foxes has many things: staggering beauty, arresting intelligence, a heart of gold... but one thing that he doesn't have is a sense of entitlement. he doesn't believe that he deserves to be admitted to harvard, nor does he believe that he deserves to be admitted to thomas cooley school of law. he understands full well that law school admissions is an imperfect sorting process and he does not bemoan his outcomes. on the contrary, he is well aware of the fact that he is a tough guy to get to know. did his inner light come out on those few pieces of paper? probably not. yet, he knows that he would make a substantive contribution to any law school, regardless of the strength of its applicant pool. after all, every school i know of could use a serious heaping of gangsta lean. holla!
in an anti-groucho marxian way, michigan has shown its own foresight by admitting me. i have been blessed with a multitude of gifts, mostly physical and intellectual—and now, michigan law has offered me a seat in their incoming class, and for their smarts i am grateful. michigan is not the dung; no, it's me and others like me, eschewing domesticity to wade through a river in darkness toward a cruel lover, as mythologized in chekhov's agafya.
yes, it's that i want to see the face behind the apple, so that i don't see botticelli's flora floating on my back. of course, i demand that chicago and columbia see clearly. but i'm unsure that they will come to their senses. from reality television i have unfortunately learned the following truism: you always ding the ones you love.
Posted by foxes in personal at 10:41 PM | riffraff (223) | trackback (983)
and the one thing you can tell about human beings is this
josh is bummed because his law school admissions process is over. foxes would offer to switch places (ie harvard for months and months of continued uncertainty), but we all know that josh would take up the opportunity immediately. after all, he got into harvard—he's no fool! who wouldn't rather be me, warts, fungus, and all? my options will be open all the way through september, ha ha!
of course, foxes' boastful exterior merely serves to hide the unending hurt he feels on the inside. a hee hee hee!
yesterday, i took a tour of a wastewater treatment plant in an effort to better understand the law school admisisons process. part of filtration consists of letting the poo settle to the bottom so that clean water can be skimmed off of the top. enjoy your trip back into the water cycle of life, mr. josh. i'm just going to chill here for a bit with the rest of the turds.
Posted by foxes in personal at 10:25 AM | riffraff (120) | trackback (1126)
April 13, 2005
la commedia è finita!
the surest predicator of failure must be success. foxes got fat and lazy from his stint on the top of the world—imbibed gluttony, partook his sweet-tooth—and it's been downhill ever since. so that's the reason for this site's precipitous decline, if you were wondering.
at one time, the greatness of this site could not have been overstated. of course, the mythology surrounding foxes is wholly fiction and wholly fact. his megalomania gave insight into the genius behind foxes at his core—his true self—while still drawing circles around his extant modesty. like most, foxes is both sinner and saint.
while foxes.bluespot.org will undoubtedly go down as the greatest pre-law weblog ever, its proprietor still feels the twinges of regret and failure typically reserved for the ruled class, not the ruling class. to wit, his perfectionism drove him mad near the apex of his magnum opus; what you see now are the leonids from his tempel-tuttle. and like his radiant-tailed friend, the fluorescence of foxes' ilk only comes around once every never.
i checked my infinity calendar, and this is it: the apotheosis of man's creative capability. in the words of walt whitman, if you want me again, look for me under the boot-soles of the blawg-o-sphere. that's right, they've co-opted my foot fungus.
in the end, foxes will be best remembered at his heights, rather than in the depths of his final days of depression and self-delusion. his unmatched heart, his sterling smile, his unbending will—that will be his legacy. eventually, of course, he would go on to accumulate the highest gpa in university of chicago law school history. but really, yes really, it all started right here. so discover foxes again for the first time.
Posted by foxes in personal at 11:17 PM | riffraff (112) | trackback (745)
April 06, 2005
trying to catch a glimpse of foxes
in the comments, yashar writes:
Hey,
I really enjoy reading your blog but it would be nice to be able to put a face to the stories. Would you post a pic or send one to me?
yashar25@aol.com
Thanks,
Yashar
well yashar, it just happens to be your day. an insider writes:
dear roxes, i heard you were at this hott event and carson kressly from queer eye totally wanted to take your picture. you were hanging out with ashanti but took a minute to pose with him and a brown dude.
yes, it's all true! while in nyc over spring break, i hung out at mazda's hot night in the city where they, quite naturally, rolled out the red carpet treatment. at first, i had a great time schmoozing with ashanti and we made plans to meet up later that evening at columbia law school for some after-hours jurisprudence. unfortunately, my security staff couldn't stop a garrulous, overzealous fan from fawning over me the entire night. i love your work, you're a genius, you're beautiful, he said over and over. i did a double take; then i said, "aren't you the guy from queer eye?" i gave him a picture with his crazy-looking indian friend.
Posted by foxes in personal at 08:51 AM | riffraff (28) | trackback (983)
March 30, 2005
you make me wanna, you make me wanna
i've been feeling the mehs lately. over the past week, i've listened to nothing but the shins, the wrens, and ted leo, three bands that, at various points, i have castigated as being music for losers, like i now am.
i am going to washington dc tomorrow to accept more awards for my engineering genius. the department of energy wants to say thank you, and i must oblige. upon my return, i'll finish regaling/boring you with tales from michigan admit weekend. until then, i will be turning foxes for now over to janet, who better not disappoint this time!!
Posted by foxes in personal at 06:32 PM | riffraff (119) | trackback (1032)
March 27, 2005
enjoy your ambitious life
i have returned safe and sound, back into the loving arms of foxes.bluespot.org, ready to blog about my week-and-a-half long romp around the eastern united states.
in the coming week (at least), this website will take a decidedly personal tone as i write more substantively regarding my extensive tour of law schools (and law school related activities). hopefully, this will be of some interest/use to somebody. the ridonculous list of law school events i attended (get excited!!): duke law minority students reception in nyc, michigan law admitted students weekend, meeting with duke admissions dean dennis shields, tour of duke law, meeting with columbia assistant director of admissions, sitting on columbia class, michigan cocktail reception in nyc, and oh so much more.
in the meantime, i send my thanks out to diseasepal and my sister for providing foxes' lovelorn fans with some entertainment in their otherwise bleak and unsatisfying lives. correspondingly, of course, foxes sends his scorn out to janet who was provided the wonderful opportunity to infuse cuteness into the lives of readers across the globe, but instead, wasted her time by hanging out with foxes in real life.
Posted by foxes in personal at 10:08 AM | riffraff (116) | trackback (1098)
February 28, 2005
the polysycophantic spree
i get a few hundred emails everyday from nervous future law students asking me, "how do i write a brilliant personal statement?" ("like yours must be" is implied, of course.) flattery, is my answer. and no, i'm not talking about my obvious expertise in self-flattery. below is a bona fide paragraph from my own personal statement, as i describe the evolution of my intellectual interests, all while making a concerted effort to kowtow my audience. take out a pen and paper kiddies—class is in session.
Before my sophomore year in high school began, our family took a cruise of the Caribbean—with math textbooks in tow. Even while docked in tropical paradise, my father dedicated three hours out of each day to teach us differential equations. So when I went off to college, my parents maintained the hope that I would become a great scientist or mathematician; last year, when I told my father that I would attend law school instead, he was a bit shocked. Then, coming to his senses, he said, “Lawyers are scum."
Posted by foxes in personal at 10:38 PM | riffraff (173) | trackback (729)
February 26, 2005
it's all about the benjamins
what follows is the oh so enticing introduction of my why penn? optional essay submitted in early november. after reading it i'm sure you'll wonder how the admissions committee has managed to resist the undoubtedly primal and perhaps even sexual imperative of my charm. they must be waiting for a moment when we can be alone. ooooh, that's dirrrrty!
With a question so certain to send applicants ripping apart promotional material to plug into their essay, one wonders exactly how to address such a difficult query without simply regurgitating the same chunks of information undoubtedly prevalent in the works of my peers. At the same time, attempting some artistic re-envisioning of the School's academic merit on paper in hopes of somehow bringing forth the love of unseen eyes seems at best childish and at worse pandering. Instead, I have decided to highlight the two aspects of the University of Pennsylvania Law School that I find appealing in terms of both career development and academic enrichment, enticing me to throw myself upon the mercy of your admissions staff while secretly investigating housing options in the vicinity of campus.
Posted by foxes in personal at 07:21 PM | riffraff (26) | trackback (799)
January 25, 2005
we're doing fine on the one and nine line
i worked in nyc over last summer, but my focus was probably on skipping out of work early, running around the city, staying up late, and generally being a very bad boy. i got up early for work, ate breakfast at my desk, and then took a nap huddled on top of a toilet.
i decided some time last night that i don't think i'll be able to go to law school in nyc, instead saving the cosmopolitan hedonism for when i have the cheddar to back it up. i know some will doubt the likelihood of a foxes acceptance into nyu or columbia anyway. to them i say, "you can't fire me, i quit!"
Posted by foxes in personal at 03:39 PM | riffraff (30) | trackback (1112)
January 07, 2005
in the mood for foxes
chicago allures but keeps at a distance like a girl in a vermeer—ephemeral, untouchable. it's easy enough to make plans to visit the second city—i've already done so—but you know who always gets in the way of you know what.
i'll be there in early february to peddle my wares. i'm pretty sure that after i spit my game at northwestern and the university of chicago, they'll admit me. after all, i have been reading up on my iceberg slim. this is the last hustle momma, then i'll square up. i promise.
but i also know that the only type of love that lasts forever is unrequited love. i mean, if there's one principal truth i've learned from wong kar-wai, it's that love only exists in its impossibility. inside, my heart is breaking.
oh boy, brotha—getting into law school is lonely biz. haters call it bathos... but i prefer to shower.
as for the city itself? its beaches and skyscrapers and groggy afternoons unquestionably have enough ghosts and sordid spirits to keep my soul within the grasp of perpetual longing. i wouldn't be surprised if i never return home.
Posted by foxes in personal at 09:51 PM | riffraff (224)
January 03, 2005
the love song of j. alfred prufoxes
in his letter to prospective students, columbia law dean of admissions james milligan states his belief that "your candidacy for admission to law school may itself become a valuable learning experience". for me, i've definitely used this occasion for a little self-exploration.
while at home, i dug out the poetry that the powers that be undoubtedly planned on using for profiteering by way of posthumous publication. a foxes character sketch, revealing deep insights into his true self—two poems from 9th grade english class, "Poem of Understanding" and "I Have a Dream":
Poem of Understanding
There are some things in this world I do not understand.
Among these things one is,
Why do toilets flush opposite in southern lands?
And why do sodas fizz?
These questions haunt me when I think.
The things I understand include,
The way to win in Goldeneye,
And how to eat lots of food
Including ham and cheese on rye.
These things are my deeper thoughts.
I Have a Dream
I have a dream.
I have a dream that one day I'll have a dream.
This dream will be great and full of purpose.
It will guide me to do what I am to do.
That is my dream.
Posted by foxes in personal at 09:19 AM | riffraff (40)
January 01, 2005
"i'm back"
foxes: the air apparent
i'm back.
i'm back, and i ain't talkin' about no joe louis comeback. no, i'm heading into the new year undefeated. this is an mj-style, twenty-three not forty-five, part one, i'm-a-year-older-but-i've-got-a-sublime-jump-shot-and-an-untouchable-fadaway-j comeback.
foxes is blowin' up in 2005. ron mercer, watch yo' back!
Posted by foxes in personal at 06:14 PM | riffraff (37)
December 15, 2004
hubris ain't part of my vocabulary, y'all
i grew back my liver last night. this afternoon, a vulture swooped in and pecked it out again. i haven't received one scrap of mail for two days straight, and we're talking law school related or otherwise. i appreciate prometheus for the fire and all, but i didn't ask for the human condition.
there's a good chance that my mailman is a three-toed sloth with no arms. please honey, leave them little mexican girls alone! k-b won't forgive you! postmaster general, release my soul!
michigan is playing me like a virtual tamaguchi. geez, my stomach is killing me. word to carl jung: i want my anima back.
Posted by foxes in personal at 01:49 PM | riffraff (30)
December 11, 2004
for the widows in paradise, for the fatherless in ypsilanti
as a young man, michigan was my dream school. even growing up in texas, my parents bought a pontiac grand am with a rear defroster. my mom told the salesman, "in four years, my son is going to the university of michigan. it's cold up there. ever been up there? you haven't? you should go sometime. yes i'm free next weekend."
i'm also fairly certain that i played a pivotal role in mike sun's decision to enroll at the university of michigan. while making up his mind, mike told me, "hey i'm thinking about this school cornell."
"who?" i asked. "do they have a football team?"
i then proceeded to list the university of michigan's plethora of resources including (but not limited to) desmond howard, elvis grbac, and chris webber. after he graduated, i was proud to learn that he took full advantage of the school's facilities, partnering up with louis bullock in freshman english and never missing class at the big house.
now, years later, i'm applying to umich, but with a little more wisdom, experience, and body hair. okay, the same amount of body hair. regardless, i'm taller. much taller.
yet in spite of all of this, michigan law still hasn't rendered a decision on my application. maybe it was a mistake that i didn't write any of the optional essays. if i had known the optional essays weren't optional, i would've not written the non-optional optional essays instead. as it stands, i am taking solace in the knowledge that michigan will get trounced in the granddaddy of them all. hook 'em.
Posted by foxes in personal at 06:28 PM | riffraff (350)
December 01, 2004
mo' money, mo' problems
from what i've been told (and this makes sense to me), the volume of law school applications fluctuates with the state of the economy. obviously, when the economy is good, applications are lower (because people would rather work and make money than go into debt). the reduction in the number of applications subsequently results in a reduction in the quality of the applicant pool. for instance, three or four years ago when the economy was good, harvard's median gpa/lsat was several points lower than its current standing to the degree that i would have a decent shot at admission. as it stands now, it would take something of a modern day miracle for me to get in.
however, with the economy showing some signs of life, some people are expecting better opportunities for admission during this application cycle. these optimists point to the fact that law forum attendence is down 25% and october lsat takers are down 6.2% this year. this may bode well for prospective students such as myself.
personally, i expect that my experience is somewhat contrary to most. today, i sent out an email to the investment bank i worked for last summer to decline their full-time job offer because of my intention to attend law school instead. fortunately, they didn't gouge out their eyes and commit seppuku, although i can't deny that that would've been flattering. below is the email i sent to my boss, giving some indication of a couple of the reasons underlying my decision:
Dear Foxes' Managing Director,
I wanted to send you an email to let you know that I will not be accepting Big Bank's offer. However, I did want to let you know that I appreciated the mentorship you provided over the summer. Some of the more enjoyable moments for me were the opportunities the interns had to sit down to chat with you and successful people like you.
Particularly, I remember that you mentioning that when you first started working on Wall Street, you were one of the few people on the trading floor that was adept with computers and programming. I think that this must have not only made you feel like you fit in at the particular bank, but moreover, that there were important problems to be solved, and these required the attention of your special skill-set. While I do recognize the vision and direction set out by you and your contemporaries of the financial industry largely becoming more and more dominated by automated processes, I do not sense that I am the only one capable (or most capable) of starting (or continuing) this revolution. In this sense, I do not feel like the banking industry needs me in particular, as a technologist.
Instead, I will be moving forwards on the plan I kept in the back of my mind, which is that of attending law school. I feel that my analytical background combined with my background in the humanities will serve me well in the practice of the law, particularly as it pertains to the imminent collision of global governance with global economic policy. In this way, I see both a place for me and an opportunity to make an impact. I hope that in the future, I might have futher opportunities to work at Big Bank in some other capacity.
If I were to continue to pursue a career in technology, I would most certainly do so at Big Bank. I had a great time this summer and that was in no small part due to the interest and attention you gave to the interns. Thank you.
Best Wishes,
Foxes
Posted by foxes in personal at 07:52 PM | riffraff (168)
first post!
big ups to mike sun@bluespot for setting me up with this "blog" (or maybe even "blawg"). this site will document my law school application process, as i am surely to be waitlisted into oblivion (at least, at the schools i'd like to attend).
join me on the journey.
i guess for this site to be truly informative, i should provide some information about myself so that you can gauge the applicability of my experience to your own (or your potential experience, dream or worst nightmare):
i set up a profile on lawschoolnumbers.com right here, which is where you can see all those useful things like admissions "stats". you can also track my progress, like i'm your brother, or your fantasy basketball player! good lord, isn't technology great?
other more general points of interest: i attend a private school in the northeast, and my top choice for law school (although virtually completely out of the question), would be to go to the left coast, all the way out to california, the second home of beautiful asian women, to bask in the sun while basking in the glory of the law, at stanford law school. umm yeah, like whoa.
Posted by foxes in personal at 01:07 PM | riffraff (185)