June 05, 2005
since u been gone
i can breathe for the first time
i'm so movin' on, yeah, yeah
thanks to you, now i get, i get what i want
since u been gone
wait.
they don't love u like I love u
wait.
they don't love u like I love u
Posted by foxes in misc at 10:19 PM | riffraff (122) | trackback (2433)
April 23, 2005
the tedford wives
held @ san francisco
i'm sitting here, watching aaron rodgers all nervous on draft day, living the slipping down life, and i get to thinking, "wait, that's me!" i'm sending this out to the terrell davises, the curtis martins, the tom bradys of the world. foxes, foxboro? it's no coincidence, baby!
a poster on xoxo cites the following from grutter v. bollinger. who's that spittin'? i'm like, it's me!
Moreover, while grade-point average and test scores may play a significant role in the admissions process, they do not infallibly predict law school performance, let alone career contributions. For example, at Columbia Law School, two years in a row, the top student in the graduating class had been admitted from the wait list. In another year, the editor-in-chief of the Columbia Law Review was admitted from the wait list. In yet a third year, a student admitted to Columbia from the wait list the day before classes began was later selected by a Justice of this Court as a law clerk.
update: rodgers accepts the admissions offer from green bay. the commentator suggests that rodgers should enter camp with a chip on his shoulder; after all, he didn't get into chicago. nonetheless, at green bay, rodgers can study under prof. favre at the most historically illustrious institution in the nfl. its recent decline notwithstanding, rodgers should find every opportunity to succeed among green bay's friendly and collegial students, throwing footballs in the hallowed gothic edifice that is lambeau field.
Posted by foxes in misc at 03:24 PM | riffraff (177) | trackback (730)
March 15, 2005
the future, wouldn't that be nice?
without first asking for their permission, this will be the guest blogging schedule until my triumphant return next sunday.
wednesday through saturday: diseasepal
sunday through wednesday: foxes' sister
thursday through sunday: janet
of course, it's a high honor to be chosen to guest blog for foxes, and much like an acceptance to yale law school, few are foolish enough to refuse. don't disappoint.
background on the authors:
diseasepal: well into june of last year, diseasepal wilted on the waitlists of three medical schools with no offers. he admitted in the most private of confidences that he was beginning to consider male prostitution or even teaching. eventually, one school took notice of his relationship with foxes and now diseasepal is pushing his agenda of self-immolation upon medical students throughout the northeast.
foxes' sister: the product of a broken home, foxes' sister often had to deal with argumentative parents and an impish brother whose prodigious musical abilities were matched only by the gale-wind force of his personality. ultimately, she escaped to san antonio where she upped her ebay rating to an incredible 34539869584, all without one negative feedback.
janet: her charmed life only truly began when she met foxes in the fall of 2002. having long languished in the company of inferior intellects, janet immediately recognized foxes' affliction for what it was: elephantiasis of the brain, both metaphorically and literally. somewhere therein, she began operating the website escapingwords.com, known in academic circles as "the cutest site in the blog-o-sphere".
Posted by foxes in misc at 10:43 PM | riffraff (101) | trackback (1039)
March 13, 2005
fix up, look sharp
heraclitus said you can't put your foot in the same river twice. why? because the water's not the same the second time around. but, also, in addition—the foot has changed as well. i grew this weird fungus on my big toe because i've been wearing the same pair of socks for weeks.
as such, i'm getting a bit bored with my own schtick. i didn't write anything about the huge binder georgetown law sent me, because i couldn't think of anything sufficiently amusing to say. yes, the binder was that boring. i do, however, plan on using the georgetown law notepad when i'm at another school. my friend, a transfer away from georgetown undergrad writes: "Don't go to Georgetown. Or, go to Georgetown, but if you less-than-love it, don't say I didn't warn you."
duke law also called me twice. the first girl was awhile back. i liked her bite; she showed some pro-duke aggressiveness, arguing effectively for duke's small class size whose benefits manifest themselves in duke's intimate atmosphere. career services people know her name, she's tight with professors, and she knows all of the gossip on mickey, mallory, and neef, hey!
the second girl who called me from duke law did so from the asian something-or-other student association. i asked her creepy questions like, "what's the asian student male-to-female ratio?" and, "what are you wearing?"
but i did get her to ask a burning question. since all of the law students that have contacted me representing schools have been girls, i've been wondering whether the schools purposefully match male admits with female recruiters. the answer was, no, you've just been lucky. she picked me to call because we shared the same alma mater. of course, she graduated when i was a senior in high school, still thinking everyday about how to beat my model-cum-french-teacher in arm wrestling.
my friend euphrates has ruined me by giving me a free month trial to netflix. it's only sunday and i've already watched three movies: the believer, the discreet charm of the bourgeoisie, and goodbye dragon inn. i will thank euphrates properly but not leaving my room for a month.
outside of that, i do have some big big big plans for the rest of the month. this wednesday, i'm starting my spring break early and driving to nyc. that evening, i'll be going to a duke law minority students cocktail soiree with the charming janet, whose taste in blawgs is impeccable. the next day, i'm flying out to michigan for their admitted students weekend. saturday afternoon, i'm jetting down to durham to see my cousin who will be getting married in august and also duke law while i'm at it. that tuesday, upon my return to nyc, i'll try to crash the michigan nyc reception at simpson thacher & bartlett. then, it's bumming around nyc for the rest of the week. of course, i'll be reporting on all of this for popular consumption.
if any of you would like to kick it during any of these periods of time, you could play "spot the foxes" in lawyer's club; just look out for the most sheepishly underdressed, horribly lanky, shaggy-haired skinny-bones you can see (friends: how else would you describe me?). if anyone comes up to me and says, "are you foxes?" they will get the grand prize in the form of a hearty handshake and a broad smile. if that person is not me, you must stop, brace yourself, and shriek like a banshee in the middle of the event. i will find you, slap your putrid face, and demand satisfaction.
to make it easier, just drop me an email or a comment below and i'll email you my phone number and you can phone me at your discretion. i trust that only a small percentage of this site's readers wish me terrible harm, and even fewer will have the guts to carry it through. realizing it will be somewhat weird to call someone you don't know, i'll answer the phone completely cheery and i'll act like we've been chums since forever. so, have at it, ya big lug!
UPDATE: granddaddy souf writes—
dont forget your ENORMOUS HEAD
although that would give you away
which reminds me of a story. i played the cello in the fifth and sixth grades, and i was such a superstar (with an awesome vibrato!) that i took lessons at the junior high. i was waiting in the lobby when the biggest nerd in the class three years older than me comes up to me and says, "your head is proportionally too big for your body."
i stood in stunned silence.
Posted by foxes in misc at 05:10 PM | riffraff (204) | trackback (1065)
March 10, 2005
hugs and kisses, i hope this helps
the folks over at xoxo are having a banner week. first, they were called out over at the volokh conspiracy for some racists threads (volokh also posts xoxo's response). yet none of this deters xoxo's very own anthony ciolli from posting a draft of his law school firm placement study. for those of you disinclined on reading this sixty-three page leviathan, the rankings follow.
1. Chicago
2. Harvard
3. Columbia
4. NYU
5. Virginia
6. Michigan
7. Northwestern
8. Yale
9. Penn
10. Stanford
personally, i stopped frequenting xoxo a month or two ago because i think i've extracted all of the potentially salient information that i could, and now, reading it usually just makes me sorta depressed. after all, it's mostly fairly bright people, mired in utter inanity. if dorian gray has taught us anything, it's that there's nothing so terrifying as the reflection of your own rotting visage. and that the league of extraordinary gentlemen sucked.
xoxo, hth
Posted by foxes in misc at 11:20 PM | riffraff (216) | trackback (804)
March 09, 2005
foxes for now featuring the game
since foxes isn't getting any fun in the mail, he's gonna make his own. i know, i know, you probably got all excited thinking that one of the nicest emcees in hip hop was going to freestyle on this here blog. no, it's better than that. endtroducing... the game.
below are photos of the three guest bloggers thus far, bronc-combo, euphrates, and granddaddy souf (chronologically). the first person that can match each guest blogger to his picture while giving sufficiently amusing reasoning will receive a stunning grand prize package including: postcards from ut law, postcards from georgetown law, a georgetown law keychain, a used duke law lens wipe, a personalized congratulatory note from foxes hisself, and much, much more! post your contest submissions in the comments section. (note: if you know anyone of these people in real life, you aren't eligible to win the contest; however, you're still eligble to stalk them down and kick over their sandcastles.) in no particular order:
Posted by foxes in misc at 11:13 PM | riffraff (179) | trackback (2198)
February 12, 2005
the new social norm
exit does not exist (photo: j. becker)
congratulations to all of the february lsat takers! you're off the treadmill now! or, you're just getting back on, the gears are turning, and so much like that post-modern contraption that you're sweating, your legs are moving but you aren't going anywhere. ha ha!
it's absolutely absurd the amount of weight attributed to the lsat in the law school admissions process. i've come to believe that in 95.734% of law school applicants, their admissions chances are more or less determined by a few numbers. in the words of juanquero2,
When law schools say that they look past the numbers at the person, they are spoonfeeding us a giant spoonful of pig shit. I am the embodiment of this undeniable truth.
for the sake of time-saving for all participating parties and the preservation of paper and the treasured forests that material derives itself from, i propose the following process i call, LAW SCHOOL RE-ENGINEERING. basically, the idea is to coalesce all law schools under the umbrella law school called, LAW SCHOOL, of which every other law school can consider itself to be a satellite campus. ie, harvard will now be referred to as "LAW SCHOOL at cambridge" and so on. on april fool's day, all applicants (and their pet beagles if the applicant so chooses) goes to their local ballot box where they write on a piece of paper their lsat score, their gpa, their undergraduate institution, their race, and their favorite brady. accompanying this information with be the student's preference ranking of LAW SCHOOL satellite campuses (simply putting LAW SCHOOL will result in ten demerits and a jettisoning to LAW SCHOOL at grand forks). all of this information will be sent into a giant computer which will use a simple formula to calculate applicant preference lists for each campus and then that giant computer will spit out each school's list of attending students for the following year using the stable marriage algorithm. think about the expediency! geez whiz, this even makes metaphorical sense!
preliminary studies show that this process gives 95 out of 100 students the same law school they would have chosen otherwise (because all law schools just care about is lsat/gpa, and all students care about is the LAW SCHOOL campus rankings), and those five students will make their sacrifice for the greater good, giving a satisfactory process with a substantial discount in trees, time, and heartache saved. think about the multifactor productivity! 3.6/169 won't have to fret any longer about impossibilities. what about free will? no, you're just hungry. it's not a supermarket, but it never was. or it was, but don't fool yourself into thinking you could've bought something. so it looks like an asylum? so what? i read my ayn rand, stupid bi—get your hands off me!
i don't want to go out making love in a forest with my golden-haired, uber-rational love-vixen, up to my nose in ego. forget it—i want to be dragged out kicking and screaming.
Posted by foxes in misc at 06:02 PM | riffraff (62) | trackback (1226)
January 25, 2005
we must protect this house!
call me corey dillon
"not today! not in our house! not today! not in our house! not today! not tomorrow! ain't gonna happen!"
Posted by foxes in misc at 01:35 PM | riffraff (277) | trackback (899)
January 20, 2005
michigan preview weekend
i've fallen out of my chair twice in two days. today i sprained my wrist. but still, when i open my mailbox? no alarms, and no surprises.
when applying for undergrad, i asked my dad what he thought of the main school i had in mind. "it's overrated," he said.
"well that's where i'm going!" i replied. and i applied there early decision sight unseen. fortunately, i got in, and now i'm scraping three inches of snow off my car every morning. in the enduring words of thom yorke, "i'm living in cloud cuckoo land."
all i have to say is that i learned my lesson.
foxes will be hitting up michigan law preview weekend on march 17–19. anyone who wants to kick it can drop me an email or a comment below and i'll hit you up as the weekend approaches. i know my reputation of being a solitary, opportunistic predator, but i'm seriously amiable. don't let the bravado fool you—i'm sweet and sticky like caramel toffee.
Posted by foxes in misc at 09:33 PM | riffraff (184)
January 09, 2005
siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiike!
admitted students weekends are not on the weekends.
Posted by foxes in misc at 01:06 PM | riffraff (80)
January 07, 2005
the 186 aba-approved law schools
the 186 aba-approved law schools
Posted by foxes in misc at 08:45 PM | riffraff (196)
January 04, 2005
the meaning of "secure" is subject to interpretation
please exit this site.
before i was admitted to any schools, i looked at the links to the admitted students' page on law school websites with awe and envy. i imagined burgeoning communities teeming with intellectual vitality forming secret societies of good ol' boys. unfortunately, this was not to be.
duke law touts their "secure website for admitted students" which consists mostly of text already included in the accepted students packet and links external to the "secure" portion of the website. as for the "secure" part? i think what they're referring to is the fact that the address for the website is www.law.duke.edu/admis/secure. oh yeah, and maybe also the text at the top of the page that reads:
The following information is for admitted students only. If you have not received notification of acceptance to the 2005 entering class, please exit this site.
Posted by foxes in misc at 06:46 PM | riffraff (30)
December 16, 2004
law schools is lilliputian to my brobdingnagian
hee hee that tickles!
uva's online status checker seems to operate under the appearances of security. the site is all ssl'ed out and there's even a picture of a scary girl to ward off bad omens. but peep this: my user name is an amalgam of the first letter of my first name and my entire last name, and my default password is six characters of upper and lower case letters. that's only 52^6=19,770,609,664 possible default passwords, and if kevin mitnick has taught us anything, it's that people never bother to change the passwords they're given. to crack the account of my arch nemisis all i would need is 1,000 computers trying 1,000 passwords per second and i could figure out his middle initial and whether he's gone complete in a paltry five and a half hours.
texas' system is even worse. my default password was YAHOO886. yes, you read that correctly. all i would need to crack this system is a random number generator and a copy of gulliver's travels. houyhnhnm, suckas!
Posted by foxes in misc at 03:18 PM | riffraff (192)
December 07, 2004
when i die they'll read this and say a genius wrote it
stop. looking. at me. (virginia law)
do you recognize the dame above? if so, then we likely share a similar affliction—the virginia law application status monitor. i don't know why i bother, anyway. at the time that i received acceptance into georgetown, my online status check still had not changed from "complete" to "decision." even though i received a complete notification from columbia law, their online status check indicates that they are still assembling my application materials. what's the point of a status check if i can't uh... check my status? what i really need is a status check status check. vital signs?? clear! KKHUNG!
50 cent's "patiently waiting" is the soundtrack for my long days in front of the computer, hitting "get mail" repeatedly on my email client and clicking refresh on the virginia law online status check until my fingernails bleed. yet, for fifty, the track itself was a realization of his patience, but for me, well, i'm still... patiently waiting. or... impatiently waiting! booyah!
Posted by foxes in misc at 04:27 PM | riffraff (212)
who's gangsta?
tag, you're it.
people have been getting into nyu, harvard, duke... and i'm watching from the sidelines. it's like grade school—getting picked last for the football team or standing in the corner of the gym at a school dance—and believe me, i have plenty of experience with that. c'mon boys, i even got all dolled up and everything! i've got a whole lot to offer. baby come close, let me see how you get loose!
Posted by foxes in misc at 11:08 AM | riffraff (59)
December 05, 2004
law school rankings
who's #1? (espn.com)
law school rankings are often discussed among law school applicants and law school administrators alike. applicants typically pour over the latest usnews/world report in search of the most minute differences between law schools. on the other hand, law school administrators decry their existence, asking applicants to "look beyond the numbers".
at a law forum i attended, associate dean of admissions at cornell law school, richard geiger (i think), said that he had a foolproof way of picking a law school. yes, you probably guessed it—according to the university's football team. now, you're probably wondering, why is the admissions officer from cornell, a perennial loser, suggesting that? it's an inverse relationship, he said.
what he didn't realize is that he has handed out an essentially objective measure by which to measure law schools. using this administratively approved metric, i present to you a re-ranking of usnews' top fifteen law schools.
foxes law school rankings, 2004:
1. new york university
not having a football team pushes the purple people-eaters to the top. conflict-resolution clinics ultimately prevail. congratulations!
2. university of chicago
chicago surges after losing to carnegie mellon's computer science department and two junior high schools. strengths: law and economics.
3. columbia university
second to last in the ivy league usually means second to last in the world. but here at foxes, it equals to third best law school.
4. georgetown university
georgetown is world renowned for the massive size of their law school—fortunately, it does little to help their football team. a season-ending loss to holy cross solidifies their place in the top 5.
5. yale university
yale outsmarts harvard only to find out that nobody at harvard cares. fortunately, they lost the game, retaining for their law school a higher ranked status over their rival in The (real) Game.
6. cornell university
much to richard geiger's chagrin, cornell plummets in the rankings after hiring a new coach and making their uniforms look like the ole miss runnin' rebels. ma, paw, i smell chicken!
7. university of pennsylvania
in the words of benjamin franklin, "a countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats." fortunately, the entire football team is comprised of worn-out wharton mbas. penn law stays steady at #7.
8. harvard university
foxes sends harvard our congratulations for their undefeated season, and our condolences for their #8 ranking.
9. duke university
duke tries its hardest to go winless. but clear strengths in public interest law cannot overcome the fact that they are still division 1a. here's a shoulder to cry on, dukies
10. stanford university
stanford cleverly games the rankings by maintaining one of the finest sports programs among all universities, while still being able to claim one of the worst football teams in the pac-10. we're not worthy!
also receiving votes (in descending order): northwestern, virginia, michigan, cal berkeley, texas.
Posted by foxes in misc at 11:01 AM | riffraff (220)