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January 31, 2005
Backup Blogger (I am a failure)
Foxes asked me to fill in for him while he made his trip into the great blue yonder...days ago. You can blame the lack of updates on me. I've been a bum and a terrible friend, abandoning his lovely readership, preventing them from basking the in utter inanity that is my typical ranting. That said, I wish to enlighen you on something simple:
Foxes and I are constantly getting shit from haters. That's right, from all sides we get attacked, but I'n not sweating. What, you don't like that Foxes got into your dream schools without majoring in Poli Sci and kissing ass? You don't like that my band is getting press coverage and playing better shows than your pathetic attempt to repackage shoddy emo? Deal. Simple fact is, we're better than you, and we're not even trying.
Want to know why?
Because we come from bumfuck nowhere and we escaped. That makes us hard to the core...with buns of steel. All you kids with your urban backgrounds, all you chumps that went to fancy private schools for college prep shit, and all you weaklings that spend hours pouring over your books to maintain your 4.0s: eat me. Our grades are the same, our dreams are the same, and we crush you without busting our asses. We emerged from the bowels of the inner world, and we came out CLEAN.
Even better: we're laughing at how serious you take this all. Say, should the unlikely happen, Foxes gets rejected from a school. You know what he'll do? Laugh. You chittlins can fret away your nights or cry your tears, but we don't care. Foxes did 27 hours last semester and didn't flinch. What do you have to say for yourself to even justify being in any form of competition with that kinda skill?
This overly redonculous message of amusing arrogance brought to you by an exceedingly tired Bronc-Combo, Foxes' designated backup shit-talker. Enjoy your evening.
Posted by foxes in guest blogger: bronc-combo at 01:35 AM | riffraff (405) | trackback (1012)
January 27, 2005
messages left floating in the breezy
i was deleting my old emails because my mailbox filled up (stanford—please resend acceptance) when i noticed the following email from my girl sophia at ut law.
Just in case you still have some lingering questions or would like to come and visit with us, we at SROC are always happy to answer any questions you have about UT, Austin, or Law School in general. We're also happy to schedule a tour of the school or arrange to have you sit in on a class when you come to visit. There's more or less always a SROCer here in the admissions office to pick up the phone (512-232-1200) or answer an e-mail. Please don't hesitate to get in touch, we can’t wait to hear from you!
actually, i did take sophia for her word and dropped her an email inquiring about the status of my application back when oot had been ignoring my overtures. contrary to her "howdy grab your partner's hand and do-si-do" persona, my message went unanswered.
whose cutting board did i stand on? i ain't no fake thug! sophia, it's been three months! oops, i see the coke in your nose!
speaking of new york, i'll be there this weekend hitting up old friends for paprika. bronc-combo may or may not be guest blogging on law school from the rock star perspective. in the case that he does, please cover the ears of nearby women and children. the realness may not be suitable for your next of kin. bk holla back!
Posted by foxes in correspondences at 01:30 PM | riffraff (182) | trackback (916)
January 25, 2005
we're doing fine on the one and nine line
i worked in nyc over last summer, but my focus was probably on skipping out of work early, running around the city, staying up late, and generally being a very bad boy. i got up early for work, ate breakfast at my desk, and then took a nap huddled on top of a toilet.
i decided some time last night that i don't think i'll be able to go to law school in nyc, instead saving the cosmopolitan hedonism for when i have the cheddar to back it up. i know some will doubt the likelihood of a foxes acceptance into nyu or columbia anyway. to them i say, "you can't fire me, i quit!"
Posted by foxes in personal at 03:39 PM | riffraff (30) | trackback (1112)
we must protect this house!
call me corey dillon
"not today! not in our house! not today! not in our house! not today! not tomorrow! ain't gonna happen!"
Posted by foxes in misc at 01:35 PM | riffraff (277) | trackback (899)
January 23, 2005
mailbag, 1/23/2005
in response to this entry, a loyal reader sent the following letter.
i read your yale essay. i don't really like it. its ridiculous. but i mean thats fine. its not as if it is really bad or anything, but i don't think its going to get you into yale.
as for the idea, the example of the olympic basketball team works well. i think however that many people may have the same idea about yale and themselves. the idea itself, while not a bad one, was nothing that really made me take notice.
i mean if your goal is to make them remember you, i think you ought to make it something absolutely crazy. not like i am writing a poem or short story about yale, but something written regularly, but even more of what you are trying to do with this one.
i think you should make it megalomanical, well maybe not megalomanical, but ten times more grandiose. i'm thinkin' unheard of levels of grandiosity, even for you. mull on that.
Posted by foxes in mailbag at 12:00 AM | riffraff (192) | trackback (1143)
January 22, 2005
it is true that few unscientific people have this particular type of religious experience
while trudging home through the snow, i got caught up in reverie—tall palm trees, girls wearing tank tops, a sunlit spanish veranda—in the dead of winter. apparently feynman came to a similar revelation while digging his car out of the snow, making his break for caltech soon thereafter. they should write a book about me called "genius". no, i'm not joking.
michigan sent me yet another mailing, seriously upping the ante. professor don herzog writes, "this place is fabulous." and then again—"this place is fabulous." his conclusion? "this place is fabulous." no disrespect dr. herzog, but does it snow in michigan? yeah ok.
Posted by foxes in correspondences at 06:03 PM | riffraff (22) | trackback (1239)
January 21, 2005
law is math
usc law didn't bother with any written personalization of my admissions note, however they did include the following curious remark:
I have noted from your application that you have a particular interest in law, mathematics, and science. I believe that you will find USC Law School well suited for students with your interest.
but nowhere in the letter did they substantiate this claim. i'm honestly curious about what form this would take; a math professor of mine tried to tell me about group theory and the law but i didn't bite. actually i did, and chewed a bit, but i didn't swallow that shizzle. who do you think i am? that gully crunk was hella slapdash. booyah!
maybe it's just further evidence that law schools are far from immune to the politics of pandering so familiar to undergraduates. yet from what i've heard, the geometry of the usc female is definitely a top course offering. i'll be seriously boning up on my studies. okay i'll stop.
Posted by foxes in correspondences at 11:20 PM | riffraff (33)
January 20, 2005
michigan preview weekend
i've fallen out of my chair twice in two days. today i sprained my wrist. but still, when i open my mailbox? no alarms, and no surprises.
when applying for undergrad, i asked my dad what he thought of the main school i had in mind. "it's overrated," he said.
"well that's where i'm going!" i replied. and i applied there early decision sight unseen. fortunately, i got in, and now i'm scraping three inches of snow off my car every morning. in the enduring words of thom yorke, "i'm living in cloud cuckoo land."
all i have to say is that i learned my lesson.
foxes will be hitting up michigan law preview weekend on march 17–19. anyone who wants to kick it can drop me an email or a comment below and i'll hit you up as the weekend approaches. i know my reputation of being a solitary, opportunistic predator, but i'm seriously amiable. don't let the bravado fool you—i'm sweet and sticky like caramel toffee.
Posted by foxes in misc at 09:33 PM | riffraff (184)
January 19, 2005
i seen hoop dreams deflate like a true fiend's weight
time to hit the books.
my mommy seriously wants me to apply to yale. she said, "mommy knows how smart her baby is; schools will too!" i thanked her for being my mommy but corrected her deluded fantasies.
but for my mommy's sake, i finally churned out the 250 word yale essay. i call it, "yale student selection (a cautionary tale)". a teaser from the rough draft:
I follow the Bulldogs closely, so I know that Coach Koh states that maintaining the Law School’s history of success is a top priority. That being the case, he must have already watched film from USA Basketball’s dismal third place showing in the Athens Olympics.
The Americans made a classic mistake in their admissions process—they selected individual players instead of a team. Indeed, 2004’s Dream Team had twelve of the finest basketball players in the world; however, because they were chosen individually without consideration of the consequent whole, their various skills never meshed.
For instance, LeBron James, a young stud, and Allen Iverson, a long-time superstar both are prolific scorers, but oftentimes their ability to penetrate the defense relies on the team’s outside shooters whose presence on the perimeter prevents opposing defenses from smothering the ball-handler. A sharpshooter such as Michael Redd could have completely changed the complexion of games simply due to his ability to make shots from distance. But the selection committee mistakenly passed on Redd simply because he did not graduate Phi Beta Kappa.
Posted by foxes in status update at 11:21 PM | riffraff (341)
January 18, 2005
danielle from the block
i missed a phone call today from an unlisted number. to my surprise, the voicemail was left by a female. oops! my heart stopped.
danielle from georgetown law wishes me congratulations! and, if i have any questions, i can contact her. unfortunately, her message was all too short. gee whiz, i miss her already.
Posted by foxes in correspondences at 08:04 PM | riffraff (164)
January 17, 2005
a love song for the symbionese liberation army
my heart's set on yale.
yesterday, i stepped on a ketchup packet that was lying on my floor. red goo splattered all over my michigan law materials; i wiped it onto unused hamburger buns. i may have irrevocably changed the course of my life forever by picking up the residual mayonnaise and mustard packets, but i did it. in the immortal words of jean-paul sartre, "freedom is what you do with what's been done to you."
today, i accused my friend of being a slave for professing his undying love for the new mac mini—but really, it's me who's suffering from stockholm syndrome. after penn law deferred me, what'd i do?
Dear Penn Law Admissions,
I would like to express my continuing interest in Penn Law, a school perhaps unique in its celebration of diversity in its varied forms...
Posted by foxes in correspondences at 05:16 PM | riffraff (327)
January 16, 2005
mailbag, 1/16/2005
the following piece of mail was received in response to this entry.
foxes
can you understand the scope of the universe? you say getting into law school is something that we should be able to laugh at or we are all doomed, and perhaps his is true, but i am curious as to whether or not you can really compare it to the scope of the universe. i realize your postings are in jest my friend, yet we are not on a universal level, so why should we always insist on referring to things in that manner. it would make sense to say, on a global level, who cares that i got into michigan...to some of us that doesn't even apply. on some level it matters sir, and while we should laugh at life to make it fun and stay stress free, we have to live within our means, this includes the means of comparative levels. do i know enough about the universe, world, or even the USA to use their scopes as a comparative instrument...i think not my friend...i think not...
btw - here is a poem i just wrote, make of it what you will
The arc of green and blue and gold surrounds you
You hold in your hand the secret to it all
You look straight ahead, straight through me
And in the distance the mountains sing
The birds fly through and in and around
And the small ants crawl over your feet
But the arc of green and blue and gold surrounds you still
The sun beats down on your neck and your back
Your hair is pulled to the side
Your eyes blink to let me know you see
The water you drink flows through and in and around
And the mosquitoes buzz through the breeze
But the arc of green and blue and gold surrounds you still
You sit on the ground with no cushion beneath you
Your robe is spread about you like a flower
Your hand moves but not to share the secret
And your peace flows through and in and around
The sky cannot stop the clouds from forming
And the arc of green and blue and gold surrounds you evermore
good day foxes
signing off
shells
Posted by foxes in mailbag at 10:39 AM | riffraff (250)
January 15, 2005
in @ usc
i've been admitted to usc law. now, if i so choose, i can fulfill my life-long dream of starting my own celebrity law practice, indulging frequently in lawyer-client privilege. their acceptance package isn't that exciting, outside of the fact that they say that i've been nominated for some kind of scholarship. that could be fun.
a friend mentioned to me that i come off on this website as something of an ingrate. i certainly don't intend this to be the case (or i do, but i'm really not).
i spoke with an acquaintance of mine the other day who politely asked me where i had been admitted. after i told him, he said, "oh congratulations. all of my housemates were rejected from michigan." i replied by saying that i didn't really think that it was so important where one went to law school—in the grand scheme of the universe.
so it's not that i'm unappreciating of all of these wonderful opportunities that are presenting themselves, it's just that i think that these moments in life, although momentous, do not carry the gravity that we'd like to attribute. and if we can't laugh about it, then we're doomed.
now, i'll be going back to watching dr. 90210.
Posted by foxes in acceptances at 02:33 PM | riffraff (126)
January 14, 2005
will the real slim shady please stand up?
there's a million of us just like me (michigan law)
michigan has been tops at wooing for sure. they've sent me something like 3 pieces of snail mail and two emails since my acceptance and i love feeling important. their only mistake? including two slim shadys in their latest viewbook. i don't think i'll be ordering the onion rings upon my visit to stately lawyer's club.
Posted by foxes in correspondences at 07:26 PM | riffraff (218)
January 12, 2005
the ruler's back
the apparent king of the blawg-o-sphere, jeremy blachman, declares his "obscenely high" movie total for 2004, 28. well step on down, brotha—the ruler's back.
foxes' total of 78 movies watched this past year scoffs at all comers. who's the illest, laziest, most cultured mammal in the blawg-o-sphere? the answer's easy—let the trumpets blow, and hold on, because the driver of the mission is a pro. the ruler's back.
Alexander
The Aviator
Before Sunset
The Blind Swordsman: Zatoichi
The Bourne Supremecy
Bukowski: Born Into This
The Chronicles of Riddick
Collateral
Control Room
The Corporation
The Day After Tomorrow
Dodgeball
Dogville
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Farenheit 9/11
The Five Obstructions
The Fog of War
Friday Night Lights
Garden State
Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Hero
House of Flying Daggers
I Heart Huckabees
In America
The Incredibles
Infernal Affairs
Kill Bill Vol 2
Kinsey
Kitchen Stories
Last Life in the Universe
Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou
Maria Full of Grace
Mean Girls
Meet the Fockers
Monster
The Motorcycle Diaries
Ocean's Twelve
Outfoxed: Rupert Murdock's War on Journalism
Napoleon Dynamite
The Passion of the Christ
Robot Stories
The Saddest Music in the World
Saved!
Shaolin Soccer
Sideways
Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow
Spiderman 2
Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter... and Spring
Springtime in a Small Town
Super-Size Me
Tarnation
Troy
Undertow
Ashes of Time
The Battle of Algiers
Beau Travail
Beijing Bicycle
Capturing the Friedmans
Chungking Express
Days of Being Wild
The Dreamers
Fallen Angels
Flowers of Shanghai
Hannah and Her Sisters
Happy Together
In the Mood for Love
In My Skin
Manhattan
Millenium Mambo
Please Teach Me English
Raise the Red Lantern
Spellbound
The Thin Man
Touching the Void
Triplets of Bellville
The War Zone
White
Unknown Pleasures
Posted by foxes in blogs at 02:16 PM | riffraff (35)
January 10, 2005
what if you had a second chance with the one that got away?
stag blogs about a lousy date. "what happened to the cool guys?" peep the archives, babe. foxes lives in the northeast. and it's snowing. hard.
as a prospective male law school student, i've spent a little... okay a lot of time sitting around pondering the nature of the law school female. from the viewbooks, they're a homely bunch that like to talk to professors jocularly, engaging in class discussion frequently, mouth open just so, palms up, amidst restrained, yet articulate, gesturing.
my hope is that, after i date such a female of the species, i'll return home, check her blog, and see a point by point argument against my person. mmm yeah, i like it just like that. stag, put your number on this paper 'cause i would love to date ya! hit me back!
Posted by foxes in blogs at 08:14 PM | riffraff (204)
January 09, 2005
mailbag, 1/9/2005
in an effort to set themselves up for epic disappointment, foxes' parents cc'ed him the following email.
Dear Sarah:
I just returned home from a conference in Snowbird, Utah, and rec'd your letter.
We are happy to know that your doctoral study at Duke is progressing well.
Foxes so far has rec'd admissions from Georgetown, Duke and Michigan, in chronological order. He's planning for a campus visit at Ann Arbor in March. If he's also interested in visiting Duke, he'll contact you. As parents, we hope he gets accepted by Chicago, Berkeley or Stanford.
Have a nice year 2005.
Posted by foxes in mailbag at 04:51 PM | riffraff (197)
siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiike!
admitted students weekends are not on the weekends.
Posted by foxes in misc at 01:06 PM | riffraff (80)
January 08, 2005
killin' ants with a sledgehammer
"oh well, time for law school"
while michigan did not reject me for misspelling "activities" (or in my world, "acitivities"), it is still unknown whether or not my resume snafu will rear its ugly "i" on my nyu decision.
on the other hand, foxes scours his correspondences from law schools for serious. from the conclusion of andy cornblatt's congratulatory email:
Having read your application, I am sure that you will have some wonderful
options and a very difficult choice to make about where you will go to law
school. While I obviously hope you will join us at Georgetown, if I can be of
any help as you make your decision, please let me know.
Andy Cornblatt
Assistant Dean of Admissions
cornblaa@law.georgetown.eduknow.
ding! a word of advice, mr. cornblaa—you want to battle for students? don't bring a knife to a gun fight! ohh snap!
Posted by foxes in correspondences at 07:18 PM | riffraff (43)
January 07, 2005
in the mood for foxes
chicago allures but keeps at a distance like a girl in a vermeer—ephemeral, untouchable. it's easy enough to make plans to visit the second city—i've already done so—but you know who always gets in the way of you know what.
i'll be there in early february to peddle my wares. i'm pretty sure that after i spit my game at northwestern and the university of chicago, they'll admit me. after all, i have been reading up on my iceberg slim. this is the last hustle momma, then i'll square up. i promise.
but i also know that the only type of love that lasts forever is unrequited love. i mean, if there's one principal truth i've learned from wong kar-wai, it's that love only exists in its impossibility. inside, my heart is breaking.
oh boy, brotha—getting into law school is lonely biz. haters call it bathos... but i prefer to shower.
as for the city itself? its beaches and skyscrapers and groggy afternoons unquestionably have enough ghosts and sordid spirits to keep my soul within the grasp of perpetual longing. i wouldn't be surprised if i never return home.
Posted by foxes in personal at 09:51 PM | riffraff (224)
the 186 aba-approved law schools
the 186 aba-approved law schools
Posted by foxes in misc at 08:45 PM | riffraff (196)
January 06, 2005
the subject of some websites is so disturbing that those who experience them will never be the same again
in light of the stunning success of the mailbag, foxes is opening up a second feature: ask foxlanders. the way he thinks is—foxes simply cannot stop dropping mad genius, so why not kick more knowledge? here, he'll bring his incredible array of literacy to bear on any problem you may be having, including (but not limited to) law school admissions, table manners, and the art of physical love. what he will give you is the objectively correct solution to your dilemmatic situation.
while the mailbag will only appear on sundays, ask foxlanders will appear whenever he receives a piece of mail from a lonely heart in need of a few pointers. buckle up, 'cause here we go!
dear foxes,
i am madly in love with sarah zearfoss of michigan. but she is bound to break my heart, to reject me, without even the smallest of post-it note explanations. i read on your website that she wrote you a note on your admit letter that said, "great personal statement!" damnit, foxes! my essay is pretty great too. what advice can you give to be a soon to be sarah zearfoss reject? is there anyway to ease the pain?
sincerely,
sleepless in ann arbor
sleepless,
sarah is a feisty mistress. i know for a fact that she has made offers to hundreds of guys, so she's likely not the most discriminating of madames. even if you do get her attention, it'll be hard to keep it. so, as far as i can tell, you only have a few options.
1. show up at the admissions office with one red rose and a ukulele, playing van halen's "jump" while wearing only thermal underwear and a motorcycle helmet. (note: this requires jump kicking and full-body flamboyance a la david lee roth.) for the grand finale, you sing, nay shout, "you make me com--, you make me complete--, you make me completely miserable!!" and then storm out of the room spiking your helmet on the ground and breaking the stringed instrument over the crown of your head.
2. get all of your friends together who have been accepted to michigan law and have them each write you a letter of recommendation for a different part of your body. you can use the following as a template:
Dear Sarah Z.,
Sleepless has a wonderful _____. The way it _____ is truly amazing. I doubt many other students at Michigan have such an amazing _____ that can remarkably _____ with regularity. Once he entered it into a _____ competition; his _____ didn't win first place but it certainly won Mr. Congeniality because his _____ was so nice to the other _____ that they wanted him to win something, so they gave him a _____ for his _____. Please admit Sleepless, if not just for his _____. One _____ of Sleepless' is worth ten of someone else's _____.
Thanks,
_____
3. send in this correspondence as an addendum to your application with the following note scrawled onto the paper in your own blood: "“it is one thing to contact the dead! it is another to meddle! and you are meddling!”
good luck, although it really won't be necessary. remember to keep us all updated as it works itself out! foxlanders, signing off—for now...
Posted by foxes in ask foxlanders at 07:48 PM | riffraff (180)
January 05, 2005
usc law's early action plan is an elaborate hoax
phooning: the illusion of movement (usc law)
i'm calling usc out.
or, more accurately, i just called usc on the phone.
part of the fun of usc's early action plan is that they say that they will render a decision on the application no more than two weeks after the application has gone complete. this makes the applicant feel all warm and gooey inside (self-importance is like a butter cake).
but, the simple fact is that they can attribute complete status whenever they feel like it, meaning that early action becomes whenever usc feels like it action, kinda defeating the whole point.
for instance, my application was sent in early november and went complete at most schools by early december, but until today, i had still heard nothing from usc. a quick phone call cleared everything up: they hadn't deemed me complete yet because of inefficiencies in the admissions office. they'll render the decision within two weeks, which is eons after receiving regular decisions at duke and michigan. so, either usc's early action program is an elaborate hoax, or they made a sincere mistake. YOU DECIDE.
Posted by foxes in status update at 07:57 PM | riffraff (103)
January 04, 2005
he who does not feel me is not real to me
heidi at letters of marque is starting a club i can't join—sipubb, short for socially inept, pretentious, unreadable, boring bloggers. foxes, on the other hand, is charismatic/magnetic, bringing the realest accessible excitement to the blogosphere. who's with me?
but hey, before you start playing "clocks" in the background, let me say: i ain't tryin' to start beef—naw, i ate a cow for dinnah. i'm doin' it for the kids. before foxes blew up, who else shared their candy? now then, put on your spandex and let's get to wrasslin'!
Posted by foxes in blogs at 07:45 PM | riffraff (194)
the meaning of "secure" is subject to interpretation
please exit this site.
before i was admitted to any schools, i looked at the links to the admitted students' page on law school websites with awe and envy. i imagined burgeoning communities teeming with intellectual vitality forming secret societies of good ol' boys. unfortunately, this was not to be.
duke law touts their "secure website for admitted students" which consists mostly of text already included in the accepted students packet and links external to the "secure" portion of the website. as for the "secure" part? i think what they're referring to is the fact that the address for the website is www.law.duke.edu/admis/secure. oh yeah, and maybe also the text at the top of the page that reads:
The following information is for admitted students only. If you have not received notification of acceptance to the 2005 entering class, please exit this site.
Posted by foxes in misc at 06:46 PM | riffraff (30)
January 03, 2005
i too dream in color and in rhyme
duke understands me, a sensitive thug—i definitely need a hug. included with their acceptance packet is a micro fiber lens cloth. that's right, the kind you use to keep your corneas dry. it's extra soft for my delicate eyes. i ain't gonna lie: when i get rejected from harvard, i might just cry.
duke law says, "challenge. engage. lead." but i can't leave blogging alone, the game needs me.
Posted by foxes in correspondences at 07:37 PM | riffraff (23)
the love song of j. alfred prufoxes
in his letter to prospective students, columbia law dean of admissions james milligan states his belief that "your candidacy for admission to law school may itself become a valuable learning experience". for me, i've definitely used this occasion for a little self-exploration.
while at home, i dug out the poetry that the powers that be undoubtedly planned on using for profiteering by way of posthumous publication. a foxes character sketch, revealing deep insights into his true self—two poems from 9th grade english class, "Poem of Understanding" and "I Have a Dream":
Poem of Understanding
There are some things in this world I do not understand.
Among these things one is,
Why do toilets flush opposite in southern lands?
And why do sodas fizz?
These questions haunt me when I think.
The things I understand include,
The way to win in Goldeneye,
And how to eat lots of food
Including ham and cheese on rye.
These things are my deeper thoughts.
I Have a Dream
I have a dream.
I have a dream that one day I'll have a dream.
This dream will be great and full of purpose.
It will guide me to do what I am to do.
That is my dream.
Posted by foxes in personal at 09:19 AM | riffraff (40)
January 02, 2005
mailbag, 1/2/2005
the mailbag rings in the new year naked like the day he entered the world. crawling out of the womb last month, he hopped back inside at the sight of man's inner nature. empty. meaningless.
godard famously said, "art attracts us only by what it reveals of our most secret self"—which begs the question, "where my dogs at?" i've been dropping serious science since 2k4, but i've received nothing in the form of anonymous affirmations of attraction under the guise of innocuous mailbag inquiries.
ok most bloggers sit back and pretend that the lack of sunlight doesn't prevent their eyes from shining or their gardens from growing. foxes won't front: his microscope needs buffing and his shoes need cobbling, so hit him up.
in the meantime, law school pampering will have to do. georgetown wisely sent mail to foxes' home address, impressing the rents, the big sis, and the family cats—by wishing him happy holidays:
Dean T. Alexander Aleinikoff and the Faculty at Georgetown University Law Center join me in wishing you and your family Peace and Joy this holiday season and throughout the coming year. We look forward to welcoming you to our community.
Best Wishes,
Andy Cornblatt
Assistant Dean of Admissions
Posted by foxes in mailbag at 06:34 PM | riffraff (235)
duke law also rises
my wife does not lack satisfaction. (duke law)
a couple of days before the new year, i received a mysterious email in my inbox titled "Congratulations" authored by "Dennis J. SHIELDS". strange capitalization patterns on the sender and an ambiguous subject header? yeah that's spam, i thought. but before i deleted it, i clicked it curiously, expecting to read:
Congratulations!
Viagra 60 Pills + Get 4 FREE! = $199.95
Cialis 30 Pills + Get 5 FREE! = $189.95
Valium 90 Pills + Get 10 FREE! = $259.95
Xanax 90 Pills + Get 10 FREE! = $233.95
unfortunately, discounts on erectile dysfunction medication were not in my future. the actual text?
Foxes:
I'm pleased to inform you that a letter just left my office notifying you of your admission to the Duke Law Class of 2008. You should receive the letter in a few days.
...
Congratulations on your admission to Duke Law. Please know you are free to contact me with any questions you may have about coming to Duke. We wish you all the best in your future endeavors. I look forward to speaking with you in the not too distant future.
Dennis J. Shields
Associate Dean for Admissions & Financial Aid
Duke University School of Law
Box 90393 / Durham NC 27708-0393
Posted by foxes in acceptances at 10:51 AM | riffraff (164)
January 01, 2005
michigan is like a rollercoaster, i wanna ride
apparently michigan law assistant dean of admissions sarah zearfoss has few qualms with letting me in; on the other hand, she certainly knows how to tickle me silly. sorry i blushed.
on my acceptance letter, she writes:
Great personal statement!
oh yeah right there sarah. don't stop, baby. don't stop.
so while i'm not typically the type of person to submerge gravitas beneath sexual innuendo, i must say that steve breaston definitely got my juices flowing and i usually prefer legs or wings. the truth is, umich is h-o-t-t and that's something no five-foot nothing cowlick can touch. to the michigan faithful: chin up, foxes may be coming to town.
Posted by foxes in acceptances at 11:23 PM | riffraff (42)
"i'm back"
foxes: the air apparent
i'm back.
i'm back, and i ain't talkin' about no joe louis comeback. no, i'm heading into the new year undefeated. this is an mj-style, twenty-three not forty-five, part one, i'm-a-year-older-but-i've-got-a-sublime-jump-shot-and-an-untouchable-fadaway-j comeback.
foxes is blowin' up in 2005. ron mercer, watch yo' back!
Posted by foxes in personal at 06:14 PM | riffraff (37)