December 16, 2004
law schools is lilliputian to my brobdingnagian
hee hee that tickles!
uva's online status checker seems to operate under the appearances of security. the site is all ssl'ed out and there's even a picture of a scary girl to ward off bad omens. but peep this: my user name is an amalgam of the first letter of my first name and my entire last name, and my default password is six characters of upper and lower case letters. that's only 52^6=19,770,609,664 possible default passwords, and if kevin mitnick has taught us anything, it's that people never bother to change the passwords they're given. to crack the account of my arch nemisis all i would need is 1,000 computers trying 1,000 passwords per second and i could figure out his middle initial and whether he's gone complete in a paltry five and a half hours.
texas' system is even worse. my default password was YAHOO886. yes, you read that correctly. all i would need to crack this system is a random number generator and a copy of gulliver's travels. houyhnhnm, suckas!
Posted by foxes in misc at 03:18 PM | riffraff (192)
December 15, 2004
hubris ain't part of my vocabulary, y'all
i grew back my liver last night. this afternoon, a vulture swooped in and pecked it out again. i haven't received one scrap of mail for two days straight, and we're talking law school related or otherwise. i appreciate prometheus for the fire and all, but i didn't ask for the human condition.
there's a good chance that my mailman is a three-toed sloth with no arms. please honey, leave them little mexican girls alone! k-b won't forgive you! postmaster general, release my soul!
michigan is playing me like a virtual tamaguchi. geez, my stomach is killing me. word to carl jung: i want my anima back.
Posted by foxes in personal at 01:49 PM | riffraff (30)
no beer and no tv make foxes something something
don't mind if i do!
ex mea sententia has a well-intentioned article regarding pre-law angst. he is right, and if i could stop obsessing over amanda nowakowski and the size of yale's endowment for more than a few seconds, i would stop and smell the roses. but just between us, if i don't get into harvard then i just might, like, off myself.
as it stands, i'll start relaxing right after MYR EPORT GETS REQEUTESTED BYT TEXTSS OKJ??K??? GJOSGJOSOGHGHGOGOOOSKLGGL
Posted by foxes in blogs at 11:09 AM | riffraff (214)
December 14, 2004
complete @ virginia
what's your name, boy?
Posted by foxes in status update at 11:52 PM | riffraff (200)
December 13, 2004
days of being wild
who wants my milkshake? (northwestern law)
today i called northwestern law to find out how i can schedule an on-campus interview for february, because their website only allows for scheduling interviews up until the new year. to my surprise, their first tier of phone response was automated. i thought, this hal jawn is softbatch! where my dogs at?
after i pressed zero, a woman who identified herself as amanda picked up the phone. her voice was a bit pouty, a bit sexy even. then i remembered that northwestern was one of the few schools who attached a real person's name and email address to their confirmation of application receipt email. amanda nowakowski? was this meant to be?
an email and a phone call, well gee, that's basically second base! amanda, i love you long time! keep the stove warm, honey... i'm comin' to northwestern!!
Posted by foxes in correspondences at 05:01 PM | riffraff (199)
December 12, 2004
mailbag, 12/12/2004
have a burning question? ever wondered anything? the foxes mailbag is your answer! finally, a chance to find meaning in our meaningless world. don't miss out!
the mailbag will appear regularly on sundays, when nothing can happen to advance the status of my applications (except going to church and praying profusely). on to the mail!
hey foxes,
potentially stupid question.
so i want a clean slate and reinstall movable type, i just have to
delete whatever directory mt is installed in correct? i don't have to
worry about other things?
i'm mad confused b/c i'm trying to reinstall anyways and they say i
dont have these perl modules when i do. i just want my stupid rinky
dinky website back for my 3, sometimes 4 readers. 1 of them being
myself.
hope things are relatively well with you. stanford played with my
heart too four long years ago. playah.
~janoxes.
janoxes, thank you for your mail. first off, let me say that there are no stupid questions, just stupid quips in response to someone saying, "this may be a stupid question." here at foxes, we honor genuine inquiry and despise irony.
now then, to answer your question, yes, things are relatively fine with me. yesterday i watched mean girls on dvd with my only friend kate, because, as you know, all of my friends graduated last year and left me here, all, alone. well the movie happens to be set in evanston, illinois, you know, the home of northwestern university, and i was all like, "uh oh." and then in one part of the movie they talked about this breakfast joint called walker brothers pancake house or something, and i was all like, "wait a second! i think i've been there!" and i had been there, i think, last winter, you know, when i went up to visit that girl that i was in loooooove with? you've gotta remember. she kicked me in the head? and she bit my shoulder? yeah we went there and she paid and she even invited me up for sunday brunch with her father, but i said no, and i turned her down to go watch my friend's soccer team, snatch fc, play an indoor intramural game, assuming that there would be tons of future sunday brunches with her father and that i could skip out just this one time. but this time when i'm going back in february to interview at northwestern law, there won't be sunday brunches with her father or anyone's father or even any rooty tooty sunday brunches at all, probably, and what am i going to do then? huh? huh?? waaah waaah, ohhhhh.
keep that mail coming!
Posted by foxes in mailbag at 02:05 PM | riffraff (212)
December 11, 2004
for the widows in paradise, for the fatherless in ypsilanti
as a young man, michigan was my dream school. even growing up in texas, my parents bought a pontiac grand am with a rear defroster. my mom told the salesman, "in four years, my son is going to the university of michigan. it's cold up there. ever been up there? you haven't? you should go sometime. yes i'm free next weekend."
i'm also fairly certain that i played a pivotal role in mike sun's decision to enroll at the university of michigan. while making up his mind, mike told me, "hey i'm thinking about this school cornell."
"who?" i asked. "do they have a football team?"
i then proceeded to list the university of michigan's plethora of resources including (but not limited to) desmond howard, elvis grbac, and chris webber. after he graduated, i was proud to learn that he took full advantage of the school's facilities, partnering up with louis bullock in freshman english and never missing class at the big house.
now, years later, i'm applying to umich, but with a little more wisdom, experience, and body hair. okay, the same amount of body hair. regardless, i'm taller. much taller.
yet in spite of all of this, michigan law still hasn't rendered a decision on my application. maybe it was a mistake that i didn't write any of the optional essays. if i had known the optional essays weren't optional, i would've not written the non-optional optional essays instead. as it stands, i am taking solace in the knowledge that michigan will get trounced in the granddaddy of them all. hook 'em.
Posted by foxes in personal at 06:28 PM | riffraff (350)
December 10, 2004
texas don't want me for a sunbeam
what is it, guys? i submitted my application over a month ago. and i still haven't heard anything back from you. nada. zip.
when i talked to you at that law forum, you whispered sweet nothings into my ear about how ut law was a small school inside of a large school, about how my lobes smelled delicious, and i believed you. you told me that it didn't matter that my father is an aggie, or was, an affiliation that he traded in for three beers at kerby lane.
i know college station is a dump. but it's my dump. you know what they say—"one man's trash is another man's agricultural and mechanical university". besides, i was really bringing up the property value of that place.
but i see that you've decided to walk right on out my life; or not walk in in the first place, even when i asked you to walk in; no you didn't walk in or walk out you just stayed there somewhere out of sight, or something. it doesn't matter. ut is bcs bound and i'm the insight.com bowl. goodness, gracious, great balls of fire...
Posted by foxes in status update at 05:32 PM | riffraff (217)
December 09, 2004
complete @ harvard
you can't handle the truth!
i'm in err... complete at harvard. unlike columbia law, they sent me a detailed four paragraph epic of an email describing their application procedures. Here's the bulk of it:
Applications are reviewed roughly in order of their completion dates. Each application receives individual consideration and is reviewed in its entirety by at least two readers, and many applications become complete on approximately the same date. As a result, decisions are normally sent approximately two months after completion. However, because applications are circulated to readers on different schedules, the length of time they take varies. Of all applications completed on approximately the same date, some will be decided in less than two months, most will be decided in about two months, and some may take longer than two months. Given the large volume of applications we receive during the two to three weeks prior to the February 1 deadline, notification of the decisions on many applications received during this period may take longer than two months from the date of completion.
too lazy to read that? basically what it says is, "it may take us less than two months; it may take us two months; and it may take us more than two months; but eventually, you'll have a decision. now squirm! squirm!! (but not too much you're not getting in anyway.)" the maniacal laughter is somewhere in the background.
Posted by foxes in status update at 06:19 PM | riffraff (366)
December 08, 2004
complete @ stanford
the university of chicago is a good reach for me, because it's still well within the realm of possibility. i spoke with their representative at a law forum i attended, asking the question, "how do i make it clear to chicago that it is my top choice?" she told me to apply early decision.
i ended up not doing that for two reasons. number one: i didn't want to put myself in the situation in which i only had one financial aid package to consider. if a lesser school breaks the bank for me, well it's an option that i'd like to have. but the main reason really is...
during the mad application process—writing essays, filling out forms, shoring up my resume—i managed to delude myself into thinking that, not only was stanford law a possibility, it was in fact my destiny. the only problem with this is that, now that my head has cleared, i realize that i may have done myself in. with no real prospects at stanford, i may have also somewhat sacrificed my chances at chicago as well because my first semester grades are not hot and i've lost the advantage of applying early. it's like icarus flying too close to the sun or that time i arm wrestled a body builder. all that's left is the free fall.
the upside? i'm complete at stanford. baby steps.
Posted by foxes in status update at 07:37 PM | riffraff (205)
December 07, 2004
when i die they'll read this and say a genius wrote it
stop. looking. at me. (virginia law)
do you recognize the dame above? if so, then we likely share a similar affliction—the virginia law application status monitor. i don't know why i bother, anyway. at the time that i received acceptance into georgetown, my online status check still had not changed from "complete" to "decision." even though i received a complete notification from columbia law, their online status check indicates that they are still assembling my application materials. what's the point of a status check if i can't uh... check my status? what i really need is a status check status check. vital signs?? clear! KKHUNG!
50 cent's "patiently waiting" is the soundtrack for my long days in front of the computer, hitting "get mail" repeatedly on my email client and clicking refresh on the virginia law online status check until my fingernails bleed. yet, for fifty, the track itself was a realization of his patience, but for me, well, i'm still... patiently waiting. or... impatiently waiting! booyah!
Posted by foxes in misc at 04:27 PM | riffraff (212)
who's gangsta?
tag, you're it.
people have been getting into nyu, harvard, duke... and i'm watching from the sidelines. it's like grade school—getting picked last for the football team or standing in the corner of the gym at a school dance—and believe me, i have plenty of experience with that. c'mon boys, i even got all dolled up and everything! i've got a whole lot to offer. baby come close, let me see how you get loose!
Posted by foxes in misc at 11:08 AM | riffraff (59)
December 06, 2004
complete @ columbia
i think deeply. (columbia.edu)
eschewing the pleasantries of its peer institutions, columbia law sent me the following terse email:
Dear Foxes:
Your application is complete and will be considered soon.
Best wishes,
Admissions
i just hope that they make their rejection letter a little more ornate, otherwise my sense of self-worth may plummet into oblivion. what am i, if not a prospective student with impressive achievements whose application was carefully considered? please—be gentle.
Posted by foxes in status update at 07:05 PM | riffraff (179)
December 05, 2004
law school rankings
who's #1? (espn.com)
law school rankings are often discussed among law school applicants and law school administrators alike. applicants typically pour over the latest usnews/world report in search of the most minute differences between law schools. on the other hand, law school administrators decry their existence, asking applicants to "look beyond the numbers".
at a law forum i attended, associate dean of admissions at cornell law school, richard geiger (i think), said that he had a foolproof way of picking a law school. yes, you probably guessed it—according to the university's football team. now, you're probably wondering, why is the admissions officer from cornell, a perennial loser, suggesting that? it's an inverse relationship, he said.
what he didn't realize is that he has handed out an essentially objective measure by which to measure law schools. using this administratively approved metric, i present to you a re-ranking of usnews' top fifteen law schools.
foxes law school rankings, 2004:
1. new york university
not having a football team pushes the purple people-eaters to the top. conflict-resolution clinics ultimately prevail. congratulations!
2. university of chicago
chicago surges after losing to carnegie mellon's computer science department and two junior high schools. strengths: law and economics.
3. columbia university
second to last in the ivy league usually means second to last in the world. but here at foxes, it equals to third best law school.
4. georgetown university
georgetown is world renowned for the massive size of their law school—fortunately, it does little to help their football team. a season-ending loss to holy cross solidifies their place in the top 5.
5. yale university
yale outsmarts harvard only to find out that nobody at harvard cares. fortunately, they lost the game, retaining for their law school a higher ranked status over their rival in The (real) Game.
6. cornell university
much to richard geiger's chagrin, cornell plummets in the rankings after hiring a new coach and making their uniforms look like the ole miss runnin' rebels. ma, paw, i smell chicken!
7. university of pennsylvania
in the words of benjamin franklin, "a countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats." fortunately, the entire football team is comprised of worn-out wharton mbas. penn law stays steady at #7.
8. harvard university
foxes sends harvard our congratulations for their undefeated season, and our condolences for their #8 ranking.
9. duke university
duke tries its hardest to go winless. but clear strengths in public interest law cannot overcome the fact that they are still division 1a. here's a shoulder to cry on, dukies
10. stanford university
stanford cleverly games the rankings by maintaining one of the finest sports programs among all universities, while still being able to claim one of the worst football teams in the pac-10. we're not worthy!
also receiving votes (in descending order): northwestern, virginia, michigan, cal berkeley, texas.
Posted by foxes in misc at 11:01 AM | riffraff (220)
December 04, 2004
em calls harvard out
don't front.
i was scouring over the letter harvard sent me (for no particular reason... okay! okay! drooool) when i noticed the following egregious error:
As Dean Elena Kagan has noted, HLS is a big city, not a small town - its scale generates vitality and adventure; its diversity promotes the best teaching and learning environment imaginable; its unmatched range of opportunities attracts talented and engaged students from across the nation and around the world.
no, i'm not talking about the paragraph-long sentence; the true culprit is far more sinister. yes, that's right—they use a hyphen instead of an em dash. here at foxes, we know our punctuation. harvard's carefully constructed facade is crumbling! i was playin' in the beginnin' but the mood's all changed!
Posted by foxes in correspondences at 11:01 AM | riffraff (197)
December 03, 2004
deferred @ upenn
hold up.
i've been held over to the regular decision pool for penn law. this is a bit strange, because i thought i was being automatically held over because i didn't make the early action deadline.
i did call the admissions office to find out if i was simply being held over because of their large volume of early action applicants in consideration of the fact that i didn't get my stuff in on time—but they told me, no, we did look at your file, we just thought you were kinda "meh" (expression added).
so the waiting game begins in earnest.
Posted by foxes in status update at 05:11 PM | riffraff (319)
complete @ boalt hall
i'm tingly all over (berkeley.edu)
i've gone complete at boalt hall aka cal berkeley. now all i have to do is wait for the rejection notice. from the email they sent me:
Our review process is thorough and holistic. Each application is reviewed individually and several factors are taken into account. Given the large number of applications we receive, we request that you refrain from requesting status checks or otherwise contacting us unless the matter is urgent.
"thorough and holistic"? sounds like some eastern medicine waikuku bizznass. someone call ricky williams up in hurrr! hey ricky, smokin' dope ain't no joke! boomshakalaka!
Posted by foxes in status update at 03:09 PM | riffraff (35)
a watched pot will never boil
sizzle. sizzle.
i've seriously been having dreams about the admissions process. but the weird thing is, it isn't something exciting like opening up to the mailbox to find an admit letter from yale plus a diamond engagement ring from that girl in my writing class. no, last night i had a dream that i checked lsac and virginia, texas, and chicago all requested my lsdas report on the same day. pretty sad, huh? i don't know what's going on. i'm not the type to get crazy about this sort of thing. REALLY
but, as chance would have it, virginia did request my lsdas report. i've heard great things about uva, but the school has a certain stigma attached to it in my mind because thomas jefferson had sexual relations with his slaves. maybe it's something i'll reconcile during a dream. charlottesville is no hotlanta, but virginia does claim the birthplace of the confederacy. dirrrrty south, here i come.
Posted by foxes in status update at 09:14 AM | riffraff (173)
December 02, 2004
complete @ upenn
i just received a kindly email from penn law indicating that my file has gone complete there. unfortunately, i had wanted to be considered for non-binding early action, but your file must be complete by november 15th. clearly, i've missed that deadline. oh well.
i had my penn law application in by november 1st, but my second letter of recommendation wasn't sent until november 7th. lsac didn't process that letter until the 18th, and then didn't send out my updated file with the included letter until the 23rd. penn law didn't get everything processed until now.
so a word to my faithful readers out there who are planning on applying some years down the line: to satisfy these early decision deadlines, you may need to get your stuff sent out several months in advance.
also, rumor has it that penn law early action applications are up an astounding 75%. in consideration of this, they've been pretty good about keeping me updated, particularly in comparison with other schools. dave sun holla back.
Posted by foxes in status update at 08:27 AM | riffraff (213)
h-bomb
a few weeks ago, haaaavaahhhd (is that how you spell it?) sent me a letter acknowledging reciept of my application. it was nice, actually, considering that most schools didn't bother with a paper letter, and many actually haven't sent me any notice of any kind (i'm looking at you, texas, virginia).
while i will cherish all correspondences with harvard prior to my imminent rejection, i do have a couple of qualms with the letter.
#1: they sent the letter in a big envelope because it came along with a viewbook. naturally, i began hyperventilating, barely managing to get out, "did i?! get in?! to haaaavaaahhhd??" but really, that moment of weakness lasted just for one second. one teeny second.
#2: they began the letter, "Dear Applicant". really, is it that hard to print out a personalized letter for each applicant? i mean, the letter did reach me, and it was addressed to "Foxes" and not just "applicant who resides at this address" or "current resident". schools with far fewer resources have shown the capability of printing mass-mailings with individually printed names. really harvard, this just goes further to add to your reputation as an impersonal lawyer producing/churning/soul-crushing factory. i mean, it's not a big deal or anything. i'd like, still think about going, okay?
on the upside, pg. 14, red hair (for those of you following along), has one of the more attractive girls that i've seen in a viewbook, but that really isn't saying anything at all. law school is going to be an oh so lonely time. hopefully i'll be able to find comfort in the arms of a status-seeking undergraduate. veritas, son!
Posted by foxes in status update at 05:27 AM | riffraff (279)
December 01, 2004
mo' money, mo' problems
from what i've been told (and this makes sense to me), the volume of law school applications fluctuates with the state of the economy. obviously, when the economy is good, applications are lower (because people would rather work and make money than go into debt). the reduction in the number of applications subsequently results in a reduction in the quality of the applicant pool. for instance, three or four years ago when the economy was good, harvard's median gpa/lsat was several points lower than its current standing to the degree that i would have a decent shot at admission. as it stands now, it would take something of a modern day miracle for me to get in.
however, with the economy showing some signs of life, some people are expecting better opportunities for admission during this application cycle. these optimists point to the fact that law forum attendence is down 25% and october lsat takers are down 6.2% this year. this may bode well for prospective students such as myself.
personally, i expect that my experience is somewhat contrary to most. today, i sent out an email to the investment bank i worked for last summer to decline their full-time job offer because of my intention to attend law school instead. fortunately, they didn't gouge out their eyes and commit seppuku, although i can't deny that that would've been flattering. below is the email i sent to my boss, giving some indication of a couple of the reasons underlying my decision:
Dear Foxes' Managing Director,
I wanted to send you an email to let you know that I will not be accepting Big Bank's offer. However, I did want to let you know that I appreciated the mentorship you provided over the summer. Some of the more enjoyable moments for me were the opportunities the interns had to sit down to chat with you and successful people like you.
Particularly, I remember that you mentioning that when you first started working on Wall Street, you were one of the few people on the trading floor that was adept with computers and programming. I think that this must have not only made you feel like you fit in at the particular bank, but moreover, that there were important problems to be solved, and these required the attention of your special skill-set. While I do recognize the vision and direction set out by you and your contemporaries of the financial industry largely becoming more and more dominated by automated processes, I do not sense that I am the only one capable (or most capable) of starting (or continuing) this revolution. In this sense, I do not feel like the banking industry needs me in particular, as a technologist.
Instead, I will be moving forwards on the plan I kept in the back of my mind, which is that of attending law school. I feel that my analytical background combined with my background in the humanities will serve me well in the practice of the law, particularly as it pertains to the imminent collision of global governance with global economic policy. In this way, I see both a place for me and an opportunity to make an impact. I hope that in the future, I might have futher opportunities to work at Big Bank in some other capacity.
If I were to continue to pursue a career in technology, I would most certainly do so at Big Bank. I had a great time this summer and that was in no small part due to the interest and attention you gave to the interns. Thank you.
Best Wishes,
Foxes
Posted by foxes in personal at 07:52 PM | riffraff (168)
gtown holla back
so i'm in at georgetown law. i got the acceptance letter on sunday after i got back from thanksgiving. the letter was marked november 22nd, and it came in a standard manila envelope (for those crazies out there: don't hyperventilate when it's the dreaded "small envelope"; yeah you've still got a shot until you open it). assistant dean of admissions, mr. andy cornblatt was kind enough to write a personal note on my acceptance letter (as is the case for all acceptees at georgetown, i'm told). unfortunately, mine was hella generic:
"Foxes -- Congratulations. I hope you will come to DC and join us at Georgetown next fall."
andy, i still love ya, but that didn't do nearly enough ego-pampering, and i'm definitely i need of it because of the hit i'm taking this semester. i think michigan did a better job of this when michigan law assistant dean of admissions sarah zearfoss (or one of her minions) underlined "impressive" in describing my credentials in a letter they sent to me. it looked real, but regardless, at least they can do a good fake ink job. bluespot holla back!
Posted by foxes in acceptances at 01:17 PM | riffraff (36)
first post!
big ups to mike sun@bluespot for setting me up with this "blog" (or maybe even "blawg"). this site will document my law school application process, as i am surely to be waitlisted into oblivion (at least, at the schools i'd like to attend).
join me on the journey.
i guess for this site to be truly informative, i should provide some information about myself so that you can gauge the applicability of my experience to your own (or your potential experience, dream or worst nightmare):
i set up a profile on lawschoolnumbers.com right here, which is where you can see all those useful things like admissions "stats". you can also track my progress, like i'm your brother, or your fantasy basketball player! good lord, isn't technology great?
other more general points of interest: i attend a private school in the northeast, and my top choice for law school (although virtually completely out of the question), would be to go to the left coast, all the way out to california, the second home of beautiful asian women, to bask in the sun while basking in the glory of the law, at stanford law school. umm yeah, like whoa.
Posted by foxes in personal at 01:07 PM | riffraff (185)