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December 05, 2004
law school rankings
who's #1? (espn.com)
law school rankings are often discussed among law school applicants and law school administrators alike. applicants typically pour over the latest usnews/world report in search of the most minute differences between law schools. on the other hand, law school administrators decry their existence, asking applicants to "look beyond the numbers".
at a law forum i attended, associate dean of admissions at cornell law school, richard geiger (i think), said that he had a foolproof way of picking a law school. yes, you probably guessed it—according to the university's football team. now, you're probably wondering, why is the admissions officer from cornell, a perennial loser, suggesting that? it's an inverse relationship, he said.
what he didn't realize is that he has handed out an essentially objective measure by which to measure law schools. using this administratively approved metric, i present to you a re-ranking of usnews' top fifteen law schools.
foxes law school rankings, 2004:
1. new york university
not having a football team pushes the purple people-eaters to the top. conflict-resolution clinics ultimately prevail. congratulations!
2. university of chicago
chicago surges after losing to carnegie mellon's computer science department and two junior high schools. strengths: law and economics.
3. columbia university
second to last in the ivy league usually means second to last in the world. but here at foxes, it equals to third best law school.
4. georgetown university
georgetown is world renowned for the massive size of their law school—fortunately, it does little to help their football team. a season-ending loss to holy cross solidifies their place in the top 5.
5. yale university
yale outsmarts harvard only to find out that nobody at harvard cares. fortunately, they lost the game, retaining for their law school a higher ranked status over their rival in The (real) Game.
6. cornell university
much to richard geiger's chagrin, cornell plummets in the rankings after hiring a new coach and making their uniforms look like the ole miss runnin' rebels. ma, paw, i smell chicken!
7. university of pennsylvania
in the words of benjamin franklin, "a countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats." fortunately, the entire football team is comprised of worn-out wharton mbas. penn law stays steady at #7.
8. harvard university
foxes sends harvard our congratulations for their undefeated season, and our condolences for their #8 ranking.
9. duke university
duke tries its hardest to go winless. but clear strengths in public interest law cannot overcome the fact that they are still division 1a. here's a shoulder to cry on, dukies
10. stanford university
stanford cleverly games the rankings by maintaining one of the finest sports programs among all universities, while still being able to claim one of the worst football teams in the pac-10. we're not worthy!
also receiving votes (in descending order): northwestern, virginia, michigan, cal berkeley, texas.
Posted by foxes in misc at December 5, 2004 11:01 AM
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